It can be difficult to know if you are in an abusive relationship. Abuse can develop gradually and the person abusing you may:
- Be very nice to you;
- be very apologetic about it;
- make excuses for their behaviour.
Emotional abuse can be especially confusing. Someone who does this will often be very manipulative. They may try to explain what they are doing, by saying it is because they care about you.
If you have not had many relationships before, it can be hard to know what is normal.
Domestic abuse can be:
- Psychological/emotional. Making you feel scared or intimidated, telling you that you are worthless, attacking your personality, shouting, name calling and threats.
- Physical. This can be pushing you or pulling your hair. It can be more serious and lead to injuries, such as, broken bones. In extreme cases it can result in death.
- Sexual. Any non-consenting sexual acts, such as: rape, forcing sex or specific sexual acts, unwanted use of pornography or criticising performance.
- Financial/economic. Taking away your financial independence, such as not allowing you to work or monitoring how you spend your money.
- Cultural based. Forced marriage or "honour-based violence". This is when you are punished for undermining a code of behaviour in your family community.
- Threats and intimidation. Threats to harm you or your children, family or friends. Also, threats to make reports to jeopardise child custody, immigration or legal safety.
- Property destruction. Destroy sentimental objects, break furniture or windows, damage clothes.
- Coercive and controlling behaviour. A pattern behaviours that make you feel intimidated or degraded. Isolating you from friends and family. Monitoring and controlling what you do, who you see, what you wear and where you go. Using or threatening physical or sexual violence to make sure they have control.
- Harassment and stalking. Persistent and unwanted contact by text, phone, email, social media and sending gifts. Standing outside or regularly pass your house, school, college or workplace. Follow you when you go out. Track you online. Monitor your Internet use and movements.
- Online or digital abuse. Monitor your social media profiles or emails. Abuse over social media, such as Facebook or Twitter. Sharing intimate photos or videos of you without your consent. Using GPS locators or spyware.